EPISODE VIII: X-ENSTEIN RULES
“You Got A Friend in Me. You Got a Friend in Me,” “we go together like- Crockett and Tubbs,” Murtaugh and Riggs, Jerry and Chris, SJW’s and Commie thoughts, I mean we just fit. What am I talking about? I’m talking about myself and Xenstein, of course. Who is X-enstein? X-enstein is my new Glock 19X. The greatest creation from the minds of the Austrian legendary Glock factory, built, and conceptualized by the one and only, Gaston Glock. This is Herr Gaston’s finest creation to date, in my humble opinion.
First some background, for those unfamiliar with the Glock 19X. The 19X was Glock’s submission to U.S. Army’s Modular Handgun System (MHS) Trials. Which was the Army’s selection process for selecting a new sidearm. The Sig Sauer P320 eventually won the contract, I also own one of those. It’s also a great handgun and should prove to be a great sidearm for our brave men and women serving this great country. Much like the other companies that submitted handguns for the MHS trials, Glock decided to release a civilian version to the commercial market, with some minor changes.
The 19X is a sort of hybrid Frankenstein gun. The slide is the length of a G19 and it is mated to G17 frame. There have many YouTube vids and other interweb post maligning the 19X, stating that the configuration should have reversed, G17 slide, G19 frame. While there may be some valid points to this argument, I love this pistol exactly the way it is. I have carried it for at least forty hours a week since I got it, and the gun. Has. Been. AWESOME! The 19X comes from the factory with a flat dark earth color scheme and factory night nights, a must for a defensive pistol, in my opinion. The 19X also come with legendary Glock reliability as a standard feature.
Ok, now for The Fuerst Option review. First off, 19X is a model number, not a name, and you give trusty sidekicks names. That is unless you’re a couple of jacked up robots from those sucky Star Wars movies, and their a-hole owners just kept calling them numbers. WTF?!? And yes, I did say sucky Star Wars movies. All the Star Wars movies sucked. As you get older, that should become clear without me telling you that they suck. Inside info, if you are thirty and don’t have to take your kids to Star War movies, and you are in that movie theater, on opening night, it may be time to rethink your life choices. There are girls out there, just saying, but I digress. Since the 19X is a sort of Frankenstein Gun; I named mine, “X-enstein”. That’s right I name my stuff. For instance, I write this blog, so I from this day forward I have decided that my call sign will be “THE OPTION”. So it is written, and so it shall be. I explained this to my lovely wife, “Cher-Nobyl”. That’s the call sign I’ve given her, because she is “Hot and Deadly”. We have been married twenty-seven years. After hearing my new call sign, Cher-Nobyl lovingly stated, “I think it’s time I look for a BETTER OPTION.” You can’t buy that type of enthusiasm. Cher-Nobyl works in retail at the Range stop by and see her while you’re there. Being an Ordained Minister, I thought it appropriate to name my badass bright orange Subaru Crosstrek “Redemption’s Sun”. That Crosstrek is so amazingly badass you couldn’t hide its greatness even if you used camo netting. Right Scott? My gold Honda Pilot “Bug out” vehicle is named “The Golden Beast”. I name stuff. That’s shit I do. So, The Option’s Glock 19X is now known as X-enstein. X-enstein is a total badass and cooler than James Dean. If Glock and everybody else want to call its color Flat Dark Earth, go ahead, I prefer to say X-enstein is the color of a lion’s mane coupled with the color of Thor’s golden locks. That works because lions are animal kings and X-enstein is The Option’s legendary hammer. I like to believe that all 19X’s have been constructed in the Austrian Alps by specially trained and genetically enhanced Austrian Black Eagles, and freshly delivered, by the afore mentioned Black Eagles, to the various world distribution centers. X-enstein is obviously too awesome to have been built in an ordinary factory situation, so I have no other explanation, that would make any sense. I’m sure this is obvious to all of you as well. At least it will be once you own one. The night sights are so highly visible that they are probably constructed by materials created from alien technology found at Area 51 and put on the market through a highly classified partnership with Mr. Gaston Glock. I have no concrete proof here, I’m just saying, the night sights are nice. The trigger is crisper than fall Washington apples. X-enstein’s match grade barrel makes my shooting more accurate than Phil Valentine’s assessment of liberal’s Trump Derangement Syndrome.
I’ve heard people say that the 19X is difficult to conceal carry. I have not found this to be the case. I take X-enstein everywhere. I have no problem concealing him, although his glow of awesomeness does shine through on a constant basis. I have found this weapon is really not much more difficult to conceal, than a Glock 19 or 23, though this may be a personal experience or preference type of thing. Bottom line, I carry X-enstein everywhere and have zero issues.
For example, X-enstein and I recently visited an East Nashville coffee shop. You know, we were spending some quality time together. Anyway there weren’t any “no guns allowed, helpless victims inside” stickers on the window, so in I went. The no sticker was obviously a clever ruse, or more likely from the occupants inside, they were too lazy to put one up. The occupants looked like they were a hybrid antifa/vegan squad, holding a strategy for anarchy meeting. It was a strange collection of bad anime tattoos, wild colored hair, face tattoos and wool caps which are worn indoors in August by these types apparently. I was wearing jeans, a black T-shirt, a light weight leather blazer, and an NRA camo baseball cap. I stepped up to the counter and was greeted by some forty something male barista named Brahn. Brahn is a Slender Man with a purple colored buzz cut, three nose rings, and a lizard tattoo in the middle of his forehead just below his hair line. Brahn immediately recoiled in horror upon looking at me up and down and questioned me in very rude tone, “Who do you think you are?” I answered, “I’m The Option.” Brahn then stated, “You have some nerve showing yourself in a public place.” To which I countered “look who’s talking.” Brahn Said “I’m not serving anyone who supports the NRA, and wears clothing made out of murdered animals.” Brahn then retreated from the counter and I believe began to sob over by the espresso machine and the gluten free muffins. I let him know that I loved his electric razors, and when he was done with his child like tantrum/emotional breakdown over a hat could he please get me a large coffee, hold the social justice non-warrior flavored tears additives.
Just then, I heard a screeching voice from behind me. The voice was horrible and chilling. It sounded like somebody dropped a hamster and a wine glass into a Ninja blender. I turned to find a crazy eyed woman behind me. I’ll let my response to her describe her appearance. “Miss, let me say this, no matter what our disagreements may be, it is an honor to have Shrek’s wife Fiona in our fine city.” In all honesty, she wasn’t green, she was more the orangey color of flavor blasted gold fish from the overly used spray on tan facility, and her skin had the textured look of John Wayne era saddle bags. Fiona was not amused. “Is that real leather?”, she asked. “Of course it is. I’m from the Jersey Shore, the land of real leather and hair gel product.” In my defense I’m sure many steaks and beef bologna sandwiches were made from the by-products in the making of this blazer. (Oh, and also, my blazer has a name - W.I.L.S.O.N.) I then tried to mend fences and said, “I’m surprised you don’t like leather, it seems to have a similar texture to your face.” Fiona then stated the SJW book of bullshit go to tactic by yelling “You’re a Nazi”. I then at this point explained the way of the real world to crazy and ill-informed Fiona. I told her in a voice that all could hear, that if I respected the opinion of fools and idiots, and was not from New Jersey, which makes me immune from being offended, that statement may have actually offended me. See, my deceased father fought and was wounded in WWII. He actually fought real Nazi’s. He served his community as a Reserve Police officer standing up for people’s rights and protecting those who cannot protect themselves. My Father did that for no pay. He raised me to have the same beliefs and fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. I did so, serving my community as a Law Enforcement Officer for over thirty years. Unlike punks like you, I have actually seen what real, dangerous fascists are capable of as I was a responder to the 9-11 terror attacks against the World Trade Center. They should remember that there are thousands of great First Responders and Our Great American Armed Forces fighting and protecting against real fascists every day. Sadly, many of them give the ultimate sacrifice. I looked around the room and everyone seemed offended and uncomfortable. Many seemed to have melted into puddles of soymilk chai tea, or whatever these idiots drink. So, mission accomplished. I said, “You a-holes can keep your coffee.”, and in true Jersey fashion, flipped the room the double barreled bird, turned and walked out. I was ready to head to Dunkin Donuts, as they are fairly Cop friendly, when a young lady with “Jen” on her name tag, carrying a to go cup and a little bag of creamers approached me. She said “I’m sorry about all that.” She handed me the coffee and rolled up the sleeve of her sweat shirt and showed me a Thin Blue Line tattoo on her inner wrist. Jen stated that her father was a retired LEO in Alabama. I smiled and said, “Thank him for me.” Jen Asked for what? “For his service and most of all, raising a good kid.” Jen smiled back and said, “Thanks to you also.” Then Jen said the words all police officers love to hear, “no charge for the coffee”. I thanked her and gave her a ten spot.
All-in-all, it was a good day. I got to trigger some crybaby SJW’s, I met a young lady who made me feel like there are still some really sweet people out there, I got some free coffee (it was actually pretty good), and most of all I got to spend some time with X-enstein. I also learned a real good situational awareness lesson, I wasn’t expecting, my Subaru Crosstrek to seamlessly blended into the urban East Nashville Hipster landscape. Who would have thought?
I guess along with my abilities in picking an awesome wife and picking awesome guns, I must add to my abilities, picking awesome rides. All this and I still remain supremely humble. Wow. I really am The Option.
TFO Safety Suggestion- I tend to make fun of Antifa and groups such as these, but on a serious note, these groups are potentially dangerous, due to their large group violent mob methods of operation. These methods are dangerous to the innocent public in general, as their “protests”, which are really more akin to riots, are held in the streets of cities and towns, causing un-involved members of the community to be potentially injured. I suggest stay up on what’s going on in your communities and if you know there is a protest or similar event planned, avoid those areas, especially if you are going out with your children. Stay vigilant and stay alert. Be careful out there.
Quick Note – If you guys read this and are current customers or plan on visiting Royal Range, I would like to make my readers aware that along with being a range safety officer, I am also a certified firearms and tactics trainer. I am also a CPR, First Aid and AED instructor and I am available for private and small group training. I am a retired Law Enforcement Officer who served with local, county, state and federal agencies, as a tactical team officer, high risk warrant execution team officer, juvenile detective and certified instructor in firearms in New Jersey and the state of Tennessee. I believe training should be informative, fun and entertaining at the same time. Come by the Range and see me. It would be my honor to be your “Fuerst” Option when you want some training. Thanks.